{"id":19050,"date":"2025-01-29T10:19:13","date_gmt":"2025-01-29T10:19:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-sites.ccci.org\/agapeuk-old\/?p=19050"},"modified":"2025-01-29T10:20:22","modified_gmt":"2025-01-29T10:20:22","slug":"risking-awkwardness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-sites.ccci.org\/agapeuk-old\/risking-awkwardness\/","title":{"rendered":"Risking Awkwardness"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Home<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Overcoming discomfort to build cross-cultural connections<\/i><\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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By Lauren Dixon<\/h6>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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‘You know, we almost didn\u2019t invite you,’ my gracious host said while walking my three small children and me to the door at the end of his daughter\u2019s birthday party. My hands were full of generous party bags and plastic boxes of food.<\/p><\/blockquote>

‘Oh?’ I asked, somewhat nervously. We definitely were the odd ones out. I was both the only white and non-Muslim woman at the party.<\/p>

‘Yes,’ he continued, calmly. ‘We weren\u2019t sure how you\u2019d feel about having different ethnicities and religious groups in your daughter\u2019s life,’ he reflected. ‘But when you were so friendly to the other Muslim mums at the nursery, and after you invited our daughter to your home, we thought it was OK.’<\/p>

‘Oh of course,’ I replied. ‘Thank you for having us!’ I meant it. We had a really great time. I was practically dragging my youngest out, I enjoyed swapping stories and laughing with the other parents. ‘I think we are better together,’ I responded with a smile as I left, promising another play date soon. How unaware I had been about the invisible barriers that existed around myself and those I saw daily!<\/p><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Risking Awkwardness for the Sake of Connection<\/h3>\n

So much of my slice of British society revolves around the avoidance of awkwardness at all costs. The fear of awkwardness shows up in a delightful array of ‘sorrys’ and ‘excuse mes’. At best, it\u2019s charming. At worst it keeps us all an arm\u2019s length from one another.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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In my experience, cultural differences add an extra layer of distance between us and others. Often the risk of awkwardness feels insurmountable: ‘What if I say the wrong thing? What if I accidentally offend or miss a cultural cue?’ But in my (albeit sometimes awkward) trial-and-error I\u2019ve learned we really must risk awkwardness for the sake of connection<\/em>, especially cross-culturally. And the secret is this: our identity in Christ is the spiritual shock-absorber that means we can courageously face this risk head-on. And trust me \u2013 the connection is worth it!<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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Removing the Word ‘Just’<\/h3>

A dear friend and author of Placed for a Purpose,<\/em> Elizabeth McKinney, coached me several years ago to remove the word ‘just’ from my vocabulary with the parable of the mustard seed in Mark 4. The mustard seed is the smallest of seeds<\/em>. Often, it\u2019s the small interactions that break down cultural barriers and give way to true connection.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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So, I stopped saying it was ‘just’ a birthday party or ‘just’ asking someone\u2019s name (and then writing it into my phone since I truly have the memory of a goldfish). I started seeing these micro-interactions as planting connection seeds cross-culturally. Saying a warm hello, remembering someone\u2019s name, asking for genuine help\u00a0and getting humble and curious about the lives and perspectives of the cross-cultural friends in my sphere have opened numerous opportunities for new community and for Jesus. So I\u2019ve learned to keep initiating and to be patient. Afterall, when you plant seeds, it takes time for trees to grow. So it is with the connection seeds we plant with people.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Lauren Dixon leads Agap\u00e9 UK\u2019s Global Team and Agape Europe’s intercultural training initiatives. As a lifelong people-person, she\u2019s passionate about building community and exploring other cultures. She believes connecting with curiosity is the precursor for Discovering, Growing, and Going.<\/em>\u00a0<\/span>She loves hosting a house full of people and cooking way too much food to share! ‘Risking Awkwardness’ was written for the \u2018Sharing Jesus’<\/em>\u00a0 publication of Share Jesus International.<\/em><\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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