{"id":5361,"date":"2020-11-04T11:00:46","date_gmt":"2020-11-04T11:00:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wp-sites.ccci.org\/agapeuk-old\/?p=5361"},"modified":"2023-05-11T13:23:03","modified_gmt":"2023-05-11T13:23:03","slug":"the-art-of-hospitality-in-conversation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp-sites.ccci.org\/agapeuk-old\/the-art-of-hospitality-in-conversation\/","title":{"rendered":"The art of hospitality in conversation"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Home<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t
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By Miriam Westfall<\/h6>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Lydia<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span>Hiorns<\/span><\/span>\u00a0is a local artist in the North East of England. She works with a gallery called Shield Field\u00a0<\/span><\/span>ArtWorks<\/span><\/span>\u00a0in Newcastle and has\u00a0<\/span><\/span>intentionally<\/span><\/span>\u00a0practiced and researched hospitality over\u00a0<\/span><\/span>the last few<\/span><\/span> years. Miriam, from Agap\u00e9 UK, asked Lydia a few questions. <\/span><\/span><\/p>

M: So<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Lydia<\/span><\/span>, how would you\u00a0<\/span><\/span>define\u00a0<\/span><\/span>hospitality<\/span><\/span>?\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/h2><\/blockquote>

L<\/span><\/span>ydia<\/span><\/span>: I guess most people think it\u2019s either inviting someone round to your house for dinner or going out for dinner at a restaurant, but <\/span><\/span>actually I<\/span><\/span>\u00a0have a much wider view\u00a0<\/span><\/span>on\u00a0<\/span><\/span>what\u00a0<\/span><\/span>hospitality is. I think it\u2019s about making room for others in your life;<\/span><\/span>\u00a0whether that\u2019s\u00a0<\/span><\/span>some kind of\u00a0<\/span><\/span>[physical]\u00a0<\/span><\/span>space<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u2018<\/span><\/span>room<\/span><\/span>\u2019<\/span><\/span>, or\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u2018<\/span><\/span>room<\/span><\/span>\u2019<\/span><\/span>\u00a0in your time<\/span><\/span>. We often are very busy so that\u2019s quite a big area where we can make room for people.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

M:<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>How has your faith impacted your hospitality?<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>

L:\u00a0<\/span>W<\/span>e see God being hospitable as part of his nature and character in the\u00a0<\/span>Bible<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>H<\/span>e\u00a0<\/span>definitely makes<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>room<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>W<\/span>e see that in the way He made creation.<\/span>\u00a0H<\/span>e could have just been happy with Him and Jesus and the Holy Spirit chilling together as the trinity b<\/span>ut He wanted to make room in that relations<\/span>hip for us to come and be part of that. H<\/span>e made us space –<\/span> a physical creation where we could live and be part of that with Him. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Y<\/span>ou also see Him making <\/span>room for us after our relationship with Him broke down. He designed the process of redemption and being brought back into relationship with Him<\/span>,<\/span>\u00a0through what Jesus did on the cross.\u00a0<\/span>W<\/span>e see such<\/span> graciousness and generosity in the way that He does that. That\u2019s how I see hospitality. <\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

Also,\u00a0<\/span>recognising<\/span>\u00a0how Jesus was around people<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>M<\/span>ost of how He went about doing things was eating food with people. <\/span>S<\/span>omeone said, \u201c<\/span>Jesus is either coming from, at, or going to a meal<\/span>\u201d –<\/span>\u00a0which<\/span>\u00a0is\u00a0<\/span>pretty true<\/span>\u00a0if you read your gospels.\u00a0<\/span>So<\/span>\u00a0there\u2019s something about making room<\/span>; s<\/span>omething about openness and genero<\/span>sity and really grace filled actions.<\/span><\/p><\/div>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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M: Have you found any connections between hospitality and conversation?<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>

L: I think there\u2019s a lot<\/span>!<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>W<\/span>e\u00a0<\/span>have to<\/span> be intentional about<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>making room in conversation<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>T<\/span>here are lots of different aspects<\/span>\u00a0of this<\/span>.\u00a0<\/span>T<\/span>here are different language barriers, like French,\u00a0<\/span>E<\/span>n<\/span>glish<\/span>,\u00a0<\/span>German<\/span>, whatever languages you speak<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>B<\/span>ut there\u2019s also different cultural contexts in the way that we use language<\/span>,<\/span>\u00a0and grace\u00a0<\/span>has to<\/span>\u00a0be embedded within\u00a0<\/span>that<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0W<\/span>e\u00a0<\/span>have to<\/span>\u00a0make room for others within that.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

And we\u00a0<\/span>have to<\/span>\u00a0be gracious<\/span>. T<\/span>here are <\/span>going to<\/span>\u00a0be communication difficul<\/span>ties and there\u2019s\u00a0<\/span>going to<\/span>\u00a0be times where we don\u2019t understand one another<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>H<\/span>ospitality\u00a0<\/span>has to<\/span>\u00a0make room for other people to have conversations with us.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

I th<\/span>ink also there\u2019s this<\/span>:<\/span>\u00a0one of our deepest desires as humans is to be known and to know<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>A<\/span>nd in order to do that we need to share of ourselves<\/span>,<\/span>\u00a0and the best way we know how\u00a0<\/span>to do that is through talking to each other.\u00a0<\/span>S<\/span>omeone once said to me,\u00a0<\/span>\u201cT<\/span>he person in front of you has an entire lifetime for you to mine the depths of,<\/span>\u201d<\/span>\u00a0and we\u2019re just not very good at doing that<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>O<\/span>ften<\/span>\u00a0the way we chat to people is… they share an anecdote,\u00a0<\/span>and we think\u00a0<\/span>\u201cOh, I know an anecdote that is even better than that, I\u2019ll share that one!\u201d<\/span>\u00a0I<\/span>t\u2019s like<\/span>\u00a0one-up-<\/span>manship<\/span>, or we end up getting into arguments<\/span>. W<\/span>e can\u2019t just be and sit with that person and listen to them<\/span>.\u00a0<\/span>S<\/span>o<\/span>\u00a0I think in order to mine someone\u2019s depths we need to ask good questions and we need to be able to listen well<\/span>\u00a0in conversation, in order to know somebody.\u00a0<\/span>Ho<\/span>spitality has a place within conversation there.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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M:\u00a0<\/span><\/span>I really love t<\/span><\/span>hat image of creating space in conversation and inviting that depth out of people.\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Do you have any practical tips<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>to<\/span><\/span>\u00a0apply\u00a0<\/span><\/span>that?<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>

L: I\u2019ll start with questions. When you meet someone for the first time<\/span>,<\/span>\u00a0even s<\/span>omeone that you\u2019ve known for a long time, there\u2019s still more to mine<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>T<\/span>here\u2019s still more to know about that person<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>S<\/span>o<\/span>\u00a0think about the type of questions you ask and allow those to be open questions<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>Then the<\/span>\u00a0person can respond in the way they feel comfortable with and it doesn\u2019t feel like an interrogation.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

A<\/span>lso,<\/span>\u00a0j<\/span>ust generally, we need to be praying for compassion for people<\/span>. W<\/span>e can grow in\u00a0<\/span>all of<\/span>\u00a0these<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>conversational techniques but if our heart is not for people it\u2019s not\u00a0<\/span>genuine. It\u2019s\u00a0<\/span>wanting<\/span>\u00a0to know them for who they really are<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>r<\/span>ather than<\/span>\u00a0thinking,<\/span>\u00a0\u201cI need to look good<\/span>;<\/span>\u00a0I need to think of a good question to ask this person because then I\u2019ll be known as a good conversationalist<\/span>.\u201d<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

W<\/span>e need to pray for compassion<\/span>\u00a0to<\/span>\u00a0care for the person in front of us. We need to pray that we will be wise in how we speak and\u00a0<\/span>loving to those that we just find\u00a0<\/span>really difficult<\/span>\u00a0or tend to have arguments with regularly<\/span>.\u00a0<\/span>In<\/span>\u00a0Colossians it says<\/span>,<\/span>\u00a0\u201cLet your conversation always<\/span>\u00a0be<\/span>\u00a0filled with grace and seasoned with salt so that you may know how to answer<\/span>\u00a0everyone.<\/span>\u201d<\/span>\u00a0If we have compassion for people and we are gracious in our\u00a0<\/span>conversation,<\/span>\u00a0then it will be seasoned with salt<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>W<\/span>e\u2019ll have something worth\u00a0<\/span>saying or<\/span>\u00a0will take time to listen.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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M:\u00a0<\/span><\/span>Love<\/span><\/span>\u00a0your insights on\u00a0<\/span><\/span>\u2018<\/span><\/span>mining<\/span><\/span>\u2019<\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>

L: Get you<\/span><\/span>r<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>pick-ax<\/span><\/span>e<\/span><\/span>\u00a0out!<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>

M: Do you have any final thoughts on hospitality in conversation?<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>

L: Technology is a fabulous tool<\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0T<\/span><\/span>he way that we text is kind of a conversation as well. But I think if you\u2019re in the physical presence with somebody often we are either on our phones s<\/span><\/span>ubconsciously<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>or we<\/span><\/span>\u2019re<\/span><\/span>\u00a0just doing it because that\u2019s what we usually\u00a0<\/span><\/span>do<\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>

There\u2019s a Glaswegian spoken word artist and he\u00a0<\/span><\/span>says<\/span><\/span>\u00a0\u201cStop\u00a0<\/strong><\/span><\/span>che<\/span><\/span>ck<\/span><\/span>ing<\/span><\/span>\u00a0your phone when I\u2019m talking to you for every word<\/span><\/span><\/strong>\u00a0that escapes these lips is a part of myself given to you.\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>W<\/span><\/span>hen we are checking our phones in the physical presence of someone<\/span><\/span>\u00a0it\u2019s quite hurtful and it does not lead to good conversation or good soul-nourishing with the other person<\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>

S<\/span><\/span>o<\/span><\/span>\u00a0I think a challenge\u00a0<\/span><\/span>is<\/span><\/span>\u00a0to be without your phone when you\u2019re in the presence of other people<\/span><\/span>,<\/span><\/span>\u00a0when you\u2019re on the bus<\/span><\/span>,<\/span><\/span>\u00a0in the park or you\u2019re walking<\/span><\/span>.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/span>T<\/span><\/span>ake your headphones out for a week<\/span><\/span>,<\/span><\/span>\u00a0see how t<\/span><\/span>hat is, and see if you interact with people better and have good conversations.<\/span><\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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